78. The Incredibles

Brad Bird, 2004

Perhaps the most disappointing film of this year was The Fantastic Four. Now, as I’m sure many of you know, The Fantastic Four is my hands down all time favorite comic book. Thus, when I learned that a feature version was immanent, I was more than a little excited. Finally, I though, Marvel’s First Family would receive the screen treatment they so richly deserved. I was a little discouraged by the selection of director Tim Story, whose previous experience was Barbershop, Barbershop 2, and Taxi, hardly the resume needed to bring Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and the Thing to the big screen. Still, I hoped. Even after a serious of casting decisions both questionable, really Jessica Alba as Sue Storm, and underwhelming, the Horatio Hornblower dude as Mr. Fantastic and the Nip/Tuck dude as Doctor Doom, I thought the movie might have a chance. As soon as the trailers hit, however, I knew I was doomed. “You’re hot!” “Thank you; so are you.” Yuck. Even Roger Corman’s 1994 unreleased FF feature is better. It’s certainly truer to the characters. God, I could go on and on about how wrong this movie is on every conceivable level. Take the scene where Reed and Ben walk past a giant statue of Von Doom. What could have been a bit of business subtly working to show Doom’s ego mania quickly becomes forced and hackneyed as Ben has to comment on it. Why not just have him turn to the freaking camera and say, “Doom’s an egomaniac folks! Enjoy the movie! And don’t worry, we’ll be showing off Jessica Alba’s breasts at regular intervals!” Jesus.

So, what does my utter and unrelenting hatred of The Fantastic Four movie have to do with The Incredibles? Well, the Incredibles is not only the best super hero movie to come out in a long time, it is also the best Fantastic Four movie we’ll likely ever get. They’re all here, admittedly in different guises. We’ve got the great family dynamic that always drove the four. We’ve got their powers: invisibility, super strength, super, um, stretchiablity, and we trade in having a little kid burst into flame every couple of minutes (can you say imitatable?) for super speed. True, these aren’t the exact FF. We don’t really get a super genius or a self hating monster, but we do get a family who loves each other deeply, despite their near constant bickering. We also get a near flawless and original super hero plot. I especially like the idea of the heroes being forced to retire and having to return. Finally, we get something that is really only possible in animation, constant and creative use of super powers. Really, it’s all just terrific stuff. I don’t really know how else to describe how much I like this movie and how right it gets the whole super hero thing and the family thing except to relate my favorite scene to you. Bob, the dad and the super strong one, is being held prisoner on an island. His wife Helen speeds to the rescue in a borrowed plane, their children having snuck aboard. Helen discovers her children just as missiles, courtesy of our villain, streak toward the plane. Helen tries evasive action and begins to plead over the radio, asking her assailant to back off. There are children on board. The terror in Helen’s voice and the anguish on Bob’s face are absolutely palpable. It’s simply one of the most human and hear trenching moments to come to the screen in a long time. When the missiles close in, Helen has only moments to act and launches herself at her children, using her stretching powers to form a protective cocoon around them, completely willing to sacrifice herself for her children, while, back on the island, Bob’s face falls, a broken man, believing his family dead. This one scene really just captures everything about this movie that’s great: the drama, the super heroics, and, most of all, the family. It’s not only an incredible movie, it’s fantastic.