The 2005 Dudie Awards

The least prestigious awards imaginable.

Well, kids, here they are: The Dudies. The Dudies are a shameful Oscar rip-off and are awarded in several Oscar-style categories. The Dudies have a long and storied history, dating back as far as yesterday. They are awarded by the Academy of Eric Houston Arts and Sciences in conjunction with The National Brotherhood of Erics Local 247. Each winner receives a statuette, as pictured at right. Without further adieu, here are the Dudies for 2005.

BEST SCORE/ORIGINAL MUSIC
Danny Elfman - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Yeah, yeah. Just like the Oscars, we’re starting out with the bottom of the barrel categories. Of course, that’s bottom of the barrel as far as the regular man is concerned. To me, all categories are precious. Anyway, our first Dudie goes to Danny Elfman for his fantastic, fun, and oddly haunting score for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Even better are Danny’s original Oompa Loompa songs, done in a variety of styles from sixties pop to disco to classic rock. Each is unbelievably catchy and are a favorite component of what was undoubtedly one of my favorite movies of the year.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHER
Rodrigo Prieto - Brokeback Mountain

There’s no denying it; Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are dreamy. Oh to be a teenage girl! I’d have their Tiger Beat posters all over the room. What? Right. Well, dreamy as they may be, the shots that make up Brokeback Mountain, this years major Oscar bait, are positively brilliant and infinitely dreamier. The shot of Heath Ledger with fireworks erupting behind him, the various beautiful vistas and cloud filled skies, wonderful, intimate photography of the major relationships, including, of course, that between Heath and Jake, just beautiful. No doubt, Ang Lee had a hand in these perfect compositions, but Prieto brings a mastery of his art necessary to this films success. It has a terrific plot, wonderful performances, but, what really pushes it over the edge is how good it all looks. Congrats on the Dudie Rodrigo!

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Runner Up: The Corpse Bride

How fun was this movie? Wallace and Gromit have always been great in small doses, but I’m thrilled to see they work just as well in long form. This film has it all: comedy, heart, and giant rabbits. All the gags in the movie work. It’s an absolute joy to watch. The rabbits are great, Gromit’s quiet frustration is perfect, Wallace’s complex contraptions are, well, complex. I loved it. As for the runner up, I don’t want to spend a whole lot of time on these. Suffice to say, these are the nominees that just missed the Dudie. For the record, each runner up does get a Dudie Runner Up medallion, lovingly handcrafted on photoshop.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Catherine Keener - Capote
Runners Up: Missi Pyle - Charlie, Maria Bello - A History of Violence

It was a tough call, but I’m giving it to Keener’s performance as Harper Lee in Capote. It’s a really nice performance and her stability, confidence, and, dare I say, even hint of masculinity is a perfect counterpoint to Hoffman’s Capote. Really, even if this sounds kind of stupid, her work wonderfully supports the lead.

SUPPORTING ACTOR
William Hurt - A History of Violence
Runners Up: Ben Kingsley - Oliver Twist, David Kelly - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Meanwhile, William Hurt is a shameless scene stealer in A History of Violence. He plays Viggo Mortensen’s delightfully cooky, mafia connected brother. He’s a real joy to watch in this, odd, dark, and compelling.

BEST ACTRESS
Naomi Watts - King Kong

Not only is she very human and sympathetic in herself, Watts does the near impossible in making you believe in a giant freaking gorilla that, when she was actually shooting her scenes, wasn’t even there. You completely buy that, not only is she relating to the gorilla, but she deeply cares for him. It’s also a heavily unusual, stylized performance, but one which works so well in the environment that it’s very strangeness adds to the verisimilitude.

BEST ACTOR
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote
Runners Up: Mickey Rourke - Sin City, Johnny Depp - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain, David Strathairn - Good Night and Good Luck, Eugine Hutz - Everything Is Illuminated

Hoffman’s Capote is the stand out performance of the year. I don’t know what it says about the man, but he embodies Truman Capote in a way you only see in the greatest biopics of all time: George C. Scott as Patton or Ben Kingsley as Gandhi. It’s really stellar and complex work that moves far beyond the superficial, cartoonish, and stereotypical about Capote to find the conflicted, contradictory, and, in many ways, deplorable human being beyond.

BEST DIRECTOR
Tim Burton - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Runners Up: Ang Lee - Brokeback Mountain, Oliver Twist - Roman Polanski, Liev Schreiber - Everything Is Illuminated

This is a real tough category for me. It really was between the sheer directorial skill exhibited by Ang Lee with Brokeback Mountain and the deeply joyful, whimsical, and somehow slightly disturbing vision offered by Burton. Anyway, there’s no doubt that Charlie was my favorite film of the year, and Burton was the main reason. There is no doubt that his vision guided the performances and style that all came together so wonderfully in this film. It’s a totally unconventional choice, but I don’t care. This is my call, baby. He’ll never win the Oscar. Never. But for the best work of his career, I’m giving Burton the Dudie.

BEST GENRE PICTURE
Serenity

The film continuation of TV’s Firefly was a spectacular ride. Combining the very best of science fiction and western pictures, this movie is incredibly entertaining and damn smart. It doesn’t seem like a whole lot of people who didn’t already love the property went to see this, but by God, they should. Further, given how much the two have in common regarding their inspiration, this is the sort of film the Star Wars prequels should have been. So, if you were disappointed b y Star Wars, and who wasn’t, give this a try. It’s soooo much better.

BEST PICTURE NO ONE SAW
Everything Is Illuminated

Liev Schrieber’s directorial debut starts out as the funniest thing I’ve seen all year. The film follows Elijah Wood as he travels to the former Communist Block to find his family’s jewish origins. His guide is a young Ruskie, Alex. Alex is also the narrator, speaking to us through a thick, comical accent. There are so many great things early on. Alex’s driver is his grandfather. The grandfather claims to be blind, driving around Russia with sunglasses on, but he isn’t. He even has a “seeing eye bitch” named Sammie Davis Jr. Jr. Neither Alex or his grandfather can understand how Wood can be a vegetarian. They don’t even know what it is and wonder what can be wrong with him. Alex also has a series of brilliant lines, all of which would make the Festrunk brothers beam with pride, such as, “All the ladies are wanting to get carnal with me because of my premium dance moves.” As great as all this is, by the end, it is one of the most touching films you’ve ever seen, deeply human and at least a little depressing. How the film moves, and moves beautifully, from one extreme to the other is something to be seen.

WORST PICTURE
Robots.

God awful. This movie is a war crime, plain and simple.

BEST PICTURE
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Runners Up: Sin City, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Everything Is Illuminated

While probably not the actual best picture made this year, it was certainly my favorite and that’s what counts for a Dudie. Sadly, it’s no big surprise, but it is the movie that most captured me this year. Great look, great perfomaces, terrific attitude. I’ve already talked extensively about how much I liked it in the regular column, so check that out if you haven’t. Again, it won’t win the Oscar. It probably won’t even be nominated. In all likelihood, Brokeback Mountain will win the day and, in all honesty, it probably is the better film, but, of the two, Charlie is the one I’ll still be watching twenty years from now.

That’s it for the Dudies. I’m off to the after party. Join me tomorrow for an in-depth look at the nominees for the Academy Awards. Ciao!