52. The Empire Strikes Back

Irvin Kershner, 1980

Who doesn’t like Star Wars? I ask you. Say what you will about the new ones (They suck! They show a complete lack of competence! Natalie Portman’s got it goin’ on, dude!), the original trilogy remains a damn fun set of films. Still, from an artistic stand point and storytelling standpoint, Empire is by far the most satisfying. There are no Ewoks to impede this baby and Lucas’ ham handed directing style is replaced by the capable eye of Irvin Kershner. Lucas, meanwhile, sat himself down in the producer’s chair, where he really belongs. The man is an effects visionary. I won’t deny it. The stuff he got into the Star Wars movies is great looking even today, but the man just doesn’t know how to deal with actors.

Empire has it all though. We get two new characters in this installment. Yoda is, hands down, a pop culture icon and Frank Oz’s backwards talking puppet is great here, convincingly moving from bumbling idiot to sage teacher before our eyes, as he attempts to mislead Luke and us. In his first appearance, Yoda commanded authority and respect in the middle of a swamp and Oz did it all with voice and with his perfect, subtle puppetry. He didn’t need CGI to make Yoda the great Jedi he was, nor did we need to see him flipping around with a comically short lightsaber. You respected that puppet. The other character we get here is not Boba Fett, who’s popularity I’ve never understood (although my friend Sean O’Brien summed it up best by pointing out what a cool, and to some degree, hard to find toy he was). No, I’m talking about, of course, Lando Mother Fucking Calrissian. Can we give it up for Billy Dee? Thank you. The man is, to this day, cool personified. If there was ever a shifty space pirate to rival Han Solo, it was Lando. True, Lando screwed our heroes over, but he proved himself in the end.

Then there’s the story. Star Wars (that’s right: Star Wars, not Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope, Star Wars), set everything up. With intergalactic war in place and a working understanding of the force, the Jedi, and our cast of characters in our heads, we could go forward at light speed. Luke begins his training while Leia, Han, Chewie, and the gayest robot in the galaxy run afoul of Imperial patrols and Vader himself. After a spectacular action set piece on the ice planet of Hoth, things immediately get dark, for both the cinematography and the story. This is a movie bathed in blacks and reds, with a constant threat of menace. Leia, Han, Chewie, and Robo-Liberace are in constant danger and Luke’s training is anything but rosy, particularly that confrontation in the dead tree thing, where he fights a ghostly Vader. When Vader’s mask pops open and we see Luke’s face. . . man, that’s some of the finest cinematic foreshadowing you’ll ever see. Then there’s Cloud City. This is just the shit, isn’t it? I mean things are looking bad for our heroes. Han gets frozen in carbonite and hauled off by Boba Fett. Lando betrays everyone. And Luke. . . poor Luke. Sure, it’s a bad ass lightsabre duel, but the poor guy loses a hand. Plus, he learns Darth Vader is his father. Bummer.

This is the one to see though, kids. This is the one with all the story, with all the angst and emotion. This is the one that looks great. It’s the one that thrills you for three quarters of the movie and then kicks you right in the balls (can I say balls?). It’s amazing. It’s still amazing. It’s the one I love. And it’s great the way it is. Do you hear me, George?! It was fine! We didn’t need the Special Edition! You didn’t need to change it more for DVD!! For God’s sake, you dicked around with the whole color palette!!! It’s supposed to be dark!!!! Leave well enough alone!!!!!! Sorry. Sorry. Temper check. Okay.