39. The Wizard of Oz

Victor Flemming, Mervyn LeRoy, and King Vidor, 1939

“Ain't it the truth? Ain’t it the truth?”

I hardly think I need to make an argument for this one. Oz is simply one of those classics that you can’t argue. Everyone loves The Wizard of Oz. Everyone. And why not? It’s a hell of a movie. From the black and white, or brown and tan, plains of Kansas to the sparkling, technicolor world of Oz, the movie takes us to a world over the rainbow and far beyond our imaginations. By the way, I expect that line to appear on the back of the next Oz DVD release.

At any rate, it seems pointless to me to pontificate on the merits of The Wizard of Oz. After all, I don’t think there’s anyone left in the world who needs convincing on this score. I thought about talking about how, despite the film’s apparent message, Oz really is a much cooler place to be than Kansas, but that would be a pretty hollow argument. Despite Oz’s technicolor beauty, we all have to admit that, at the end of the day, we would want to go home to the ones we love. I thought about talking about the film’s immortal appeal to children worldwide and how I loved it as a child, but, damn my eyes, I love it still, and so do most adults. So, no news there. I also considered talking about how Oz is one of the few classic films to defy the auteur theory at every step and create an indelible picture without an overriding guiding hand. After all, the picture has three directors and no less than sixteen writers.

No, sir, I wanna talk about my favorite character. When I was little, that was the Tin Woodsman, hands down. I think that has a lot to do with that I just really like robots and Tin Woodsman is, essentially, a robot. Today, though, there’s only one character for me: Cowardly Lion. It’s not that I really have a connection to him or that I’ve developed a deep and abiding love for lions. No, heaven knows it isn’t that. In fact, it’s hard to explain. Certainly, Bert Lahr’s performance is perfect. It’s just that, well, he’s so lovable, so sympathetic. God help me, I just wanna give the big guy a hug. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Cowardly Lion has all the best lines. His comments, in fact his whole “aw shucks” meets easily crumbling bluster personality, are etched on my mind. Let’s take a look, shall we? “I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do! I do! I do! I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do! I do! I do! I do!” “Put ‘em up, put ‘em up!” “Not nobody. Not nohow.” “I’d thrash him from top to bottomous.” “Shucks, folks, I’m speechless. Ha Ha!” Cowardly Lion also has, in my honest opinion, the best song in the whole feature: “If I Were King of the Forest.” That song, among other bits of brilliance, including Cowardly Lion’s rug cape and flower pot crown, includes this great little speech: “Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the “ape” in apricot? What have they got that I ain’t got?” “Courage!”

You can say that again.