The 2007 Dudie Awards

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Academy of Eric Houston Arts and Sciences, in association with The National Brotherhood of Erics Local 247, are proud to present the 2007 Dudie Awards.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, with some quick thoughts on rejection for those who didn’t win this year, our host, co-star of the upcoming Run, Fatboy, Run, Dylan Moran!

Thank you, Dylan. And now, a quick word about the two year long history of the Dudies. The Dudies were conceived by me as a cheap Oscar rip-off and they remain that to this day. The winners of the Dudies will each receive one of our lovely Burt Reynolds (from Gator) statuettes. The practice of awarding a Dom DeLouise medallion to the runners up, has been discontinued by popular suggestion from said runners up.

And now, without further adieu, The Dudies.

Best Romance – Stardust

Stardust, based on the illustrated novel by Neil Gaiman and Charlie Vess was one of my favorite movies this year and, at it’s heart, is the irresistible romance between Tristan and a fallen star possessed of human form. Claire Daines playes the star, named Yvaine. Now, I’ve never cared much for Ms Daines, but you’d have to have a heart of stone not to fall in love with her and Yvaine in this picture, particularly after the scene in Ditchwater Sal’s wagon. It’s also worth pointing out that, while the romance is the heart of this picture, there’s plenty of other stuff going on to entertain as well, including a comic competition between seven princes to be the last one still alive.

Best Animated Feature That Wasn’t Ratatouille

This actually wasn’t a bad year for animated movies. Of course, Ratatouille was spectacular, but there were a couple of nice surprises this year in addition to Brad Bird’s charming opus. As is usually the case, these other animated films were very poorly marketed, sold as pure kids fare instead of the all ages pictures they were. Of these, the best were (tie) Meet the Robinsons and Bee Movie. Meet the Robinsons was the movie that had the commercial featuring a talking T-rex, who said, “I have a big head and little arms.” Admittedly, not the comedy high point of that movie, but you might recall it. It also happens to be the story of a young orphan boy brought through time to an exciting future to meet, what is very clearly, his future family (after his future son has lost one of the family’s two time machines by leaving the garage door unlocked). The picture also features a Snydley Whiplash style villain (in both appearance and performance), complete with his own entertaining back-story and sentient bowler derby. There are also a few well-placed Tom Selleck jokes.

Bee Movie, meanwhile, features a bee played by Jerry Seinfeld. As you’ve probably guessed, that equals a bee that talks like Jerry, acts like Jerry, and makes observational jokes. Frankly, a lot of these jokes about the lives of bees are pretty funny, as is the plot, revolving around Jerry the Bee falling for a human woman, suing humanity for stealing honey, and then making up for the fallout of his impulsive actions. It turns out to be a damn funny movie with a halfway decent message.

Best DVD Release – Blade Runner Final Cut

Five cuts of the movie, a feature length documentary, a mountain of supplemental materials, production stills, a plastic “origami” unicorn, a toy police car, some sort of lenticular doo dad, a letter from Ridley Scott, a fancy file folder, a replica of Harrison Ford’s briefcase, one of Sean Young’s eyelashes, a make-up sponge used on Daryll Hannah, a midget that recites “This Little Pig Went to Market,” and a sliver from the true cross. Go buy it today.

Best Documentary – The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

Heroes, villains, geeks, and one perennial loser, who just wants to win the world record at Donkey Kong. The problem is, the video gaming elite won’t let him. These are the ingredients of the best documentary of the year, a movie that is at once funny, ridiculous, heartwarming, heart breaking. It’s the most entertaining documentary to come out in years and it’s a damn shame it wasn’t nominated for Oscar. Still, you should go out and see it. Trust me, you’ll enjoy it.

Worst Part 3 – Shrek the Third

It seems that this was the year of the part three: Pirates of the Carribean 3, Spider-Man 3, Shrek the Third, and I think a couple of others. The problem is – they all sucked. Ah, but which sucked the most? Spider-Man 3, particularly when compared to the exceptional part two, is a major disappointment, but at least there are a few high points. Pirates of the Carribean 3 benefits from having created most of its problems (weird plot, pointless re-use of characters from the first film, stupid fish monsters in its second part. Shrek 3, meanwhile, came off two superior films with a major disappointment. There was nothing funny about this underwritten fugitive from the made for DVD market and in a medium where it takes years and years to create one film, you’d think someone would have noticed at some point how badly this one stunk.

Best TV Show to Movie Translation – The Simpsons Movie

It took a good ten years longer than it should have, but we finally got ourselves a Simpsons movie and, you know what, even though the show’s been going downhill for years, this movie was pretty good. High points included Homer calling anyone who’d pay money to see free TV characters idiots and, of course, Spider-Pig.

The Burt Reynolds Memorial “I Know He Isn’t Dead Yet” Machismo Award

We at the Dudies home office were all prepared to give this sucker to Gerard Butler for his testosterone driven performances as King Leonidas in 300. After seeing Gerard in that movie, we spent weeks running around the home office naked, gnawing on raw beef and screeming, “This is Sparta!” Then, the unthinkable happened: Gerard threw away all his man cred by appearing in the decidedly femmy PS I Love You. Say it ain’t so, man. Say it ain’t so! Well, it was so. That’s why this years winner is not the Spartan king, but Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd is a comedian whom you have probably seen as a background character in a number of movies, including The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. He is very funny. Well, this year he also appeared in The Ten, where, as the narrator of a series of comedic skits about the Ten Commandments, he manages to bed both uber hottie Famke Janssen and Jessica Alba. Hoo boy. Now, that’s manly.

Note: I was going to run a clip here of Rudd with Jessica Alba, but the only one I could find on YouTube was much, much too dirty (although hilarious) to post here. I would like to point out, though, that that only cements his worthiness for this award.

Best Western, Best Cinematography, Longest Title, and Favorite Picture (Runner-Up) –The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is a fascinating, engrossing, well-performed, beautifully shot, and superbly directed picture. The train robbery scene, shot by the always amazing Richard Deakins, is particularly gorgeous. This is the only picture this year that I had absolutely no problems with, and, yet, it still wasn’t my favorite picture.

Best Movie to Take Your Daughter To – Enchanted

Aside from being another in a string of surprisingly good family films and aside from featuring the cute as a button Amy Adams (Amy? Call me), Enchanted also has a great message for the all too princess obsessed youth: maybe it isn’t a good idea to marry a guy you met yesterday.

And now, a musical interlude from Enchanted, featuring the aforementioned cutie, Amy Adams.

Best Action/Comedy – Hot Fuzz

Of course, I have to give some mad props to Hot Fuzz. I am, without any doubt, wholly in love with both Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright, the writers and, respectively, star and director of both Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. These movies are not only hilarious spoofs, but are, in fact, the perfect distillation of the genre they take on. That is to say, just as Shawn of the Dead is now regarded as one of the best zombie movies ever made, Hot Fuzz is easily one of the best police action movies ever made, thanks in no small part to Wright’s amazing direction and editing and the incredibly smart script. Also, it doesn’t hurt matters that the picture features such brilliant British thespians as Edward Woodward, Jim Broadbent, Bill Nighy, and Timothy Dalton.

Geek-gasm Moment –I am Optimus Prime

I’m sitting there in the theater. The lights go dark and then, over the numerous speakers comes the rumbling, familiar voice of Optimus Prime. Instantly, a part of myself was transported back to my childhood, while the rest of me nursed a major geek hard-on for the next hour.

Best (Independent) Picture No One Saw – Lars and the Real Girl

It’s about a guy who falls in love with his sex doll! How could you not want to see it?

Sci-Fi Picture – Sunshine

Sunshine is a clever sci-fi movie about a mission to reignite the sun. True, much of the movie cribs from other sci-fi greats, but, somehow, it really works. The film was directed by 28 Days Later’s Danny Boyle and stars Cillian “Freaky Eyes” Murphy and features a shockingly non-annoying performance from FF2’s Chris Evans.

Worst Picture – Resurrecting the Champ

Resurrecting the Champ started out as an ad campaign composed of pure Oscar bait, bosting a career making performance from Samuel L. Jackson, a man, who, frankly, already has a pretty solid career. Admittedly Samuel’s performance here is decidedly different from his usual shtick. You see, in Champ, Samuel speaks in a raspy whisper rather than shouting. Still, the film is overlong, underwritten, and entirely too sappy. Worst of all, though, is a craptacular performance by the winner of this year’s worst thing ever award, Josh Hartnett. Josh planned to be here to accept his awards, but he was unfortunately placed in a wet paper bag yesterday and has yet to act his way out.

Hottest Actress (Animated) – Angelina Jolie

Naked Angelina? And in 3-D?! As the small child in my theater said when we first saw that CGI ass, “Wow.”

Best Screenplay – Juno

Well written, clever, heartfelt, and all from an ex-Minneapolis stripper… and you know I like strippers.

Best Actress – Ellen Page

The best thing about Juno, even better than the screenplay, was Ellen Page’s performance. Without such commitment to her quirky character, the screenplay could easily have fallen on its face. Fortunately, Ellen was able to use it to create a fully realized character that rings truer than most.

Best Horror Movie – The Mist

Despite it’s overly tragic ending, The Mist is an incredibly engaging horror film from the director of The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. The story concentrates on a group of average men and women trapped in a grocery store as fog surrounds their small New England town. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, except, of course, that there’s something in the mist and, unlike the John Carpenter film, what’s in the mist is significantly larger and deadlier than ghost pirates. Still, what’s most interesting about this picture is that it that the monsters are not the most terrifying part – it’s what the people themselves become when put into the situation. Better news is that the DVD will include a special black and white version of the film that ought to bring it even closer to its Twilight Zone-esque roots.

Best Supporting Actress – Marcia Gay Harden

Marcia is usually a pleasure to watch, but she really shines here, perfectly embodying an overzealous bible thumper who becomes a crazed cult leader after just a taste of power. All this happens in The Mist. When the monsters begin to appear, Marcia preaches that the end times have come. At first, no one believes her, but mounting fear and a couple of lucky, obvious predictions give her frightening power, making her a terror much more potent than the CGI monsters outside.

MVP and Best Supporting Actor – This year’s most valuable player is, without a doubt and surprisingly, Casey Affleck. That’s right, Ben’s younger brother turned in two amazing performances this year. First, he played the cut rake Brooklyn detective who stumbles on a case with a juicy moral center in big brother Ben’s directorial debut, Gone Baby Gone. Then, he gave an Academy Award nominated performance as the titular assassin in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Both were great performances that made their respective movies a pair of my favorites for this year.

Best Actor – Javier Bardem

As immoral bounty hunter Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men, Javier Bardem created a truly memorable screen villain. Perhaps the best scene in No Country comes when Anton tries to check out at a gas station. The elderly attendant casually mentions that he notice the state of the license plate on Anton’s (stolen) car. This man could help authorities track Anton and it seems like a good idea to kill him, but Chigurh decides to leave it up to a coin toss. Check it out:

Best Director – The Coen Brothers

The Coens showed up to play this year. They’ve made numerous classic films over the last twenty plus years and, while not necessarily my favorite, No Country for Old Men is without a doubt one of their best. The directing here is top notch. The film is full of nuanced performances, a fascinating, atypical narrative style, beautiful Western vistas, suspenseful moments, and scores of those interesting, Sturges-like faces the Coens so love. If you like the Coen brothers, and their dramatic side in particular, you owe it to yourself to see this movie.

Best Picture Actually Nominated For Best Picture – No Country For Old Men

What a movie! And, hey, it actually won best picture, too. Yay Coen Brothers. Admittedly, this still isn’t my favorite of their movies. It is, after all, no Big Lebowski, but it’s still a damn fine picture. What it is, for those of you not in the know, is a brilliant character examination of pure evil, in the form of bounty hunter/assassin Anton Chigurh, a man whose motives are ruled by fate and a twisted code of honor, but never by any recognizable morality. Sheriff Tommy Lee Jones and prey Josh Brolin both run afoul of Chigurh, as does another bounty hunter, amiably played by Woody Harrelson in a sort of Bat Lash/ Water Hole No. 7 sort of mold, and an elderly gas station manager. The movie is beautiful, haunting, thought provoking, and utterly unforgettable, if never quite conventional.

Worst Picture Actually Nominated For Best Picture – Attonement

Now, I have to admit that my animosity for this movie is somewhat tempered by my seeing it in the most uncomfortable theatrical setting I’ve found myself in in years. I went to see this movie at the Mann Highlands near St. Catherine’s College in Saint Paul. I’d never been to the theater – it’s a little two screener (converted from one) in the middle of a charming, out of the way business district. Well, I couldn’t have been more disappointed with the theater. The seats were tiny and much too close together and I could neither slouch nor cross my legs for the duration. The screen was also by far the smallest I’ve ever seen. It was so small, in fact, that I nearly asked for my money back before even taking my seat. After all, this screen wasn’t even as big as some televisions. Still, I sat for the movie. I even endured chatter from confused elderly people and even answered some of their questions (which were actually directed at me). The movie itself is slow, pretentious, and uninteresting. Visually, it is admittedly impressive, but it is very, very lacking narratively. Plus, there’s a twist that has all the impact of a mosquito hitting the windshield. Bah phooey, sir. Bah phooey.

Favorite Movie and Best Theatrical Experience of the Year – Grindhouse

Grindhouse is easily the most fun I’ve had in a theater in at least five years. Clocking in at almost three hours, Grindhouse contains two seventies grindhouse style pictures and a handful of fake trailers directed by the likes of Edgar Wright (my new favorite director) and Rob Zombie. One of these trailers, Machete (“You just messed with the wrong Mexican.”) is included below for your viewing pleasure. Meanwhile, Planet Terror, directed by Robert Rodriguez, is the story of a zombie apocalypse, which involves a stripper with a machine gun leg. The other picture, Death Proof, directed by Quentin Tarrantino, features the always awesome Kurt Russell as a homicidal stunt driver. If I have any quibbles with this movie, it’s that Death Proof starts out too slow and that Tarrantino doesn’t quite commit to the whole grindhouse concept as much as he might. Regardless, this is a gory, hilarious, mind-blowing experience. Also, if you want a good time, do what I did and catch it at midnight the night before Easter.

Well, that’s it. It’s been a long Dudies this year, but part of that is to make up for not giving many of these films the proper reviews they deserved over the last years. Anyway, drive home safe. Your local news is next.

Fred Garvin

Just for fun:

Oscar Post-Mortem

Well, kids, it’s time for the Oscar post-mortem. As it turns out, my picks weren’t exactly “right on,” but I was still pleased by the outcome in every place I missed. Still, before we move on to look at the winners, and there were several, let’s look at the ceremony itself.

Jon Stewart did one hell of a job as host this year. He was funny, genial, and, best of all, he expressed a genuine interest and excitement in the awards that I think really connected with the audience or, at least, me. Particularly nice was Stewart’s clear joy at seeing Once take home best original song, even bringing the song’s co-writer back onto the stage after commercial to give the speech that she was tragically cut off from giving. Further, Stewarts monologue was funny, without being too jabby (although it did veer off into the purely political a bit much). His prepared video bits, while not as funny as his Homosexuality in Western Movies bit from a couple of years ago, were cute.

The clip reels were a bit of a disappointment on the whole, particularly the all to obviously CGI opening. The “In Memoriam” was nice, as always (hard to screw that up) and actually showcased a number of people whom I didn’t know were dead.

The musical numbers were good, if not great. Particularly odd was the cute as a button Amy Adams signing “Happy Working Song” – which she sang while starring in Enchanted - without any sort of production behind her, while Kristin Chenoweth (who wasn’t even in Enchanted) gets the full production value for a different song that Amy Adams originally sang.

Finally, the big surprise of the night, which I won’t really get into below, was the three Oscars won by The Bourne Ultimatum – sound editing, sound mixing, and editing. Admittedly, these aren’t seen as big deal awards, but, still, no one expected Bourne to take these.

And, since I mentioned it last time, my favorite dress for the night was the foxy number Renee Zellweger was wearing. I’m not normally a Renee guy, but, well, woof.

Now, let’s look at those winners.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Winner: Daniel Day-Lewis
Pick: Daniel Day-Lewis

Like I said, this was Daniel’s from the start. Way to go.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Winner: Javier Bardem
Pick: Javier Bardem

Again, there was little doubt that Javier was taking this home. Really, this would prove to be No Country for Old Men’s night and it’s fitting that this amazing performance, the anchor of the movie, was the first win of the night.

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Winner: Marion Cotillard
Pick: Julie Christie

Marion Cotillard won for La Vie En Rose, a biopic about singer Edith Piaf. Now, I haven’t seen the movie, but it looks like Ms. Cotillard is very good in it. Worth noting: I didn’t see Julie Christie’s movie either.

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Winner: Tilda Swinton
Pick: Cate Blanchette

This was my first big miss of the night and I couldn’t have been happier. Cate Blanchetter was the obvious pick in that she played a dude and Oscar loves that sort of thing. Still, Tilda Swinton ruled in Michael Clayton and I’m thrilled to see her win this.

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

Winner: Ratatouille
Pick: Ratatouille

What? Like Surf’s Up was going to win.

CINEMATOGRAPHY

Winner: There Will Be Blood
Pick: No Country for Old Men

Poor Roger Deakins. After years of brilliant work behind the camera, he effectively cancelled himself out by shooting the two best looking movies of the year: No Country for Old Men and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Still, There Will Be Blood is a really good looking movie, too, so I won’t complain.

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Winner: No Country for Old Men
Pick: Atonement

Yeah for the Coen brothers. They’ve deserved an Oscar for years and now they have it. I was going against public opinion by guessing Atonement anyway and, frankly, the Coens really deserve this Oscar and I’m glad to see them get it.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Winner: Juno
Pick: Juno

Diablo Cody takes home the Oscar for her first ever screenplay. I’ve noted that I thought she’d become immediately insufferable if she did win, but she gave one of the best, most heartfelt and emotional speeches of the night, so good for her. I look forward to seeing what else she’s got.

DIRECTING

Winner: No Country for Old Men
Pick: No Country for Old Men

No surprise here and another well deserved wins for the Coens. Can they win a third pair?

BEST PICTURE

Winner: No Country for Old Men
Pick: There Will Be Blood

Yes, they can. I didn’t think the academy would go for No Country as best picture, but they did and that’s great. This was the Coen’s year and it’s long overdue.

The Production Dude Picks the Oscars

Alright, gang, The 80th Annual Academy Awards airs on Sunday night. That’s right, eighty years. Expect lots of clip reels celebrating “80 Years of Oscar” (God, I love clip reels). Meanwhile, Jon Stewart is back to host, so expect a lot of awkward responses from the audience, while I laugh my ass off. Robert Boyle, art director of 1987’s Dragnet will be getting an honorary Oscar.

Anyway, without further adieu, here are my picks (an * indicates that I didn’t see the damn movie).

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Nominees: George Clooney (Michael Clayton), Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood), Johnny Depp (Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street), Tommy Lee Jones (In the Valley of Elah*), Viggo Mortensen (Eastern Promises)

This is totally Daniel Day Lewis’ Oscar to lose. His portrayal of oil magnate Daniel Plainview is at once gripping and powerful. In some ways, it’s even reminiscent of Welles’ portrayal of Charles Foster Kane, albeit without much of the charm. Day Lewis definitely deserves the win here and I expect him to get it, not only for this film, but in silent recognition of his work in The Gangs of New York as well. The only other actor who has a chance is Clooney, whom Hollywood loves and who did win supporting actor last year – usually a good sign for a win the following year. Still, Clooney is a decided dark horse pick.

My Pick: Daniel Day Lewis

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Casey Affleck (The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford), Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men), Philip Seymour Hoffman (Charlie Wilson’s War*), Hal Holbrook (Into the Wild*), Tom Wilkinson (Michael Clayton)

A huge part of me would love to see this go to Casey Affleck, who really did turn in a spectacular performance as the titular coward, Robert Ford. That said, Javier Bardem came out of absolutely nowhere this year to turn in an amazing performance as Anton Chigurh, the bad guy in No Country for Old Men and, quite possibly, one of the finest screen villains of the past decade. Arguably, since so much of No Country is built around a character study of evil and how others deal with it – Chigurh (pronounced, more or less, Sugar) being that evil personified – this really should be a full-blown leading actor Oscar. Regardless, this is an immensely powerful performance and an easy win with Affleck alone offering competition as the darkest of horses. PS – Where’s the nominee for There Will Be Blood’s crazy preacher?

My Pick: Javier Bardem

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth: The Golden Age*), Julie Christie (Away from Her*), Marion Cotillard (La Vie en Rose*), Laura Linney (The Savages*), Ellen Page (Juno)

This is always such a hard category to call, particularly in a year with no real stand-out performances. Don’t get me wrong, Ellen Page was phenomenal, but Oscar doesn’t like to award youth. Cate Blanchett is likewise out of the running since she’s going to win best supporting actress (more on that in a minute), so I’m giving it to Julie Christie. Why? Well, she won the Golden Globe, which in a year without a telecast probably means less than it usually does, and, I just plain like Julie Christie.

My Pick: Julie Christie

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Cate Blanchett (I’m Not There*), Ruby Dee (American Gangster*), Saoirse Ronan (Atonement), Amy Ryan (Gone Baby Gone), Tilda Swinton (Michael Clayton)

As I said above, this is all Cate Blanchett. In I’m Not There, Cate is one of several actors to portray Bob Dylan and Oscar loves a woman playing a man. It’s as simple as that.

My Pick: Cate Blanchette

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

Persepolis*, Ratatouille, Surf’s Up*

Surf’s Up? Really? Regardless, there can be no doubt that this is all Ratatouille.

My Pick: Ratatouille

CINEMATOGRAPHY

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Atonement, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood

Woof. The cinematography is awesome in Jesse James and I’d like to see it win this award both for the beautiful photography by Roger Deakins and so that it wins something. That said, the cinematography in Atonement, No Country for Old Men, and There Will Be Blood is all awesome as well. Damn it. Of course, it’s worth noting that Deakins also shot No Country for Old Men, further confusing the issue. I expect the academy to award Deakins for one of these pictures, especially since he’s never won, despite having shot pictures like The Shawshank Redemption, but it’s really hard to say which. In that no one saw Jesse James, I’m giving it to No Country.

My Pick: No Country for Old Men

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Atonement, Away from Her*, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood

There’re a lot of really good screenplays here. From what I hear, the screenplay for No Country is shockingly faithful, but here’s the thing: I don’t think Atonement is going to win much else (except, like, costume direction), despite taking the Golden Globe for best picture. As such, I think the Academy will give their big nod to Attonement here. If not, expect No Country to win since, you know, it deserves it. Also, There Will Be Blood could win. What can I say? It’s a tough year.

My Pick: Atonement

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Juno, Lars and the Real Girl, Michael Clayton, Ratatouille, The Savages*

I see Juno winning this one. Everybody likes this movie and that’s mostly due to the screenplay. Plus, I’m sure all of Hollywood wants to see what weird ass outfit Minneapolis native Diablo Cody will wear.

My Pick: Juno

DIRECTING

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*, Juno, Michael Clayton, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood

Now it gets really hard. It seems to me that big contenders for both directing and best picture are No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood. They’re both damn good movies with large critical followings, so I expect the academy to split directing and picture. The question is, which will win which. My guess is that the directing Oscar will go to No Country and auteur directors Joel and Ethan Coen. The Coen’s are long overdue for this Oscar and I’m guessing the academy will recognize that. Plus, it’s worth noting that Paul Thomas Anderson (There Will Be Bloods’ director) isn’t really a known directing entity yet (his previous film, Magnolia, is God awful – despite what respected critics and certain John Welshes think) and wasn’t even nominated for a directing Golden Globe.

My Pick: No Country for Old Men

BEST PICTURE

Atonement, Juno, Michael Clayton, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood

If No Country for Old Men takes the Oscar for best directing, There Will Be Blood will take best picture, which is fine with me. It’s a damn good movie that, in some ways, reminds me of old school movie making and the work of Welles and Kubrick. Plus, it frankly has a much more traditional structure than No Country for Old Men and I think No Country’s odd form, while appealing to me, will turn off some voters. There is a dark horse here, though, in that I really think Juno could come out of nowhere and win this. It really depends on the academy. The problem as I see it is that, with the exception of Juno, this year’s best picture nominees just don’t seem to connect with audiences as past nominees have. Don’t get me wrong I like all of them except for Atonement, but here’s the thing – Atonement is kind of long and boring, There Will Be Blood is very popular with critics, but very divisive among average film goers, No Country has the aforementioned strange structure, the end of which, I think, really turns off some, and Michael Clayton is kind of an oddly paced thriller and a bit of a downer. Meanwhile, I don’t think any of this will really affect the academy, but it could and, if it does, Juno will come out of absolutely nowhere to win.

My Pick: There Will Be Blood

See you soon with The Dudies and next week with an Oscar wrap-up.

The Year That Wasn't

Quickie Reviews from the Year I Was Away

Tideland – What the fuck was that? Tideland starts out pretty strong and remains interesting throughout, but never comes together as a cohesive whole. It does, however, invert Gilliam’s usual theme of exploring a person’s fantasy by almost never showing the fantasy world, but remaining firmly entrenched in reality as its characters experience fantasy within their own heads.

The Departed – Fan-freaking-tastic. This was Scorcese’s best picture in years and a movie that, for once, was truly deserving of Oscar. Great performances by everyone involved, especially, and surprisingly, Leonardo DiCaprio and Marky Mark. This one is a must see and another contender for eventual inclusion in the Top 100.

The Last King of Scotland – Come for Forrest Whitaker, sleep through the rest.

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny – Nowhere near as kick ass as it should have been, the big screen debut of JB and KG ends up stealing heavily from the superior HBO series and catering far too much to an apparently absent (if one looks at ticket sales) stoner audience. That said, the first ten minutes or so – which reflect exactly what I wish the whole movie had been – is an amazing musical sequence featuring a young JB, Meatloaf and Ronny James Dio.

Sweetland – This was a fine and really pretty period piece produced in northern Minnesota. I don’t know how much play it got outside the state, but its certainly worth your while. Plus, the gaffer’s a friend of mine. Way to go, Greg!

Stranger Than Fiction – A fun and interesting metafiction.

The Prestige – This is a really amazing bit of business, focusing on two competing Victorian magicians. There are plenty of twists and turns in a film by Christopher Nolan and much of the Batman Begins cast and crew. Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman are great as the magicians and Michael Caine and David Bowie (as Nicola Telsa!) turn in great supporting performances. Apart from The Departed, this was easily my favorite movie of the year I never talked about and a strong contender for eventual inclusion in the Top 100.

Night at the Museum – A light entertainment buoyed by fun supporting characters that, unfortunately, doesn’t hold up well to repeat viewings – that is except for the scenes involving a miniature Owen Wilson, which are terrific. That said, I’m not sure what is more surprising: that this kid-friendly picture has yet to spin-off a Saturday morning animated version or that it was written by two members of MTV’s The State.

Man of the Year – Completely forgettable, although mildly notable for not at all being the film advertised in its trailers. This is less the story of a comedian becoming president than of voter machine error allowing the wrong man to become president.

Hollywoodland – I can’t believe I’m saying, but Ben Affleck was great in this story of the mystery of George “Superman” Reeve’s death. The one question never addressed: why was Lex Luthor never questioned?

The Fountain – The Fountain’s trailers seemed to promise an immortal story of one man’s centuries long quest for the love of a woman. What we get instead is a boring, pretentious mess of a picture that desperately wants to be the new 2001.

For Your Consideration – For your consideration: a man who has made a trio of very funny films suddenly fails miserably. I’m not sure if Christopher Guest was fated to make a crappy movie sooner or later, but, if he was, at least I’m glad that it’s finally out of the way.

Flags of Our Fathers – one of Eastwood’s duller movies

Fearless – What could have been a really cool spectacle of kung fu vs other prominent fighting styles (boxing, fencing, etc) wastes a lot of time on back story and something called Wu Shu – which I’m sure means something to kung fu fans, but not to me.

Eragon – You see, the title is just ‘dragon’ with an ‘e’ instead of a ‘d.’ The rest of the movie is just as clever.

Pan’s Labyrinth – With this picture Guillermo Del Torro, robbed at last year’s Oscars, proves beyond any doubt that he is one of the most interesting filmmakers today and the most interesting director the horror/fantasy genre has seen in a good twenty years. Now, bring on Hellboy 2!

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan – Funny and I’m glad Sasha Baron Cohen has decided to retire the character. Borat was on the brink of becoming the next Austin Powers: a once funny character diluted by overuse and all too repetitive catch phrases.

Casino Royale – The Bond franchise throws away Brosnan’s smirking hijinks for something far more brutal and worthwhile. Interestingly, the results are most similar to the oft despised Timothy Dalton films – strange that the aesthetic works so well with audiences now when it failed so miserably then (myself excluded – I happen to quite like Dalton’s Bond). All that said, I still say we need a different M than Judi Dench.

The Queen – While sadly, not about Freddy Mercury, this bio pic of Queen Elizabeth II really is terribly good. Helen Mirren is excellent and James Cromwell deserves a little more recognition for his portrayal of Prince Philip.

Children of Men – Really, really good. Go see it now.

Curse of the Golden Flower - Another disappointing kung fu picture, this one with much too little kung fu and entirely too much idiotic dialog, but, luckily, just enough cleavage.

Be sure to come back later this week first for my Oscar predictions and then for The 2007 Dudie Awards!

Remember, to be eligable for the coveted Burt Reynolds statuette, the movie has to have been released during 2007 and I have to have seen it in the theater. I did not, however, have to see it during 2007.

Speaking of all that, here are the films eligable for this year's Dudies: Ghost Rider, 300, The Last Mimzy, Blades of Glory, Grindhouse, The Host, Hot Fuzz, Spider-Man 3, The Bridge to Terrabithia, Shrek 3, Pirates of the Carribean 3: At World's End, Ratatouille, Knocked Up, 1408, Transformers, 28 Weeks Later, Meet the Robinsons, The Simpsons Movie, Live Free or Die Hard, The Ten, Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Sunshine, Stardust, The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, Balls of Fury, Resurrecting the Champ, The Nanny Diaries, Shoot 'Em Up, Superbad, Resident Evil Extinction, Eastern Promises, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, 30 Days of Night, The Darjeeling Limited, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Beowulf, 3:10 to Yuma, The Mist, The Golden Compass, I am Legend, Juno, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Lars and the Real Girl, Gone, Baby, Gone, No Country for Old Men, Bee Movie, Attonement, Enchanted, and (should I have the time this week) Michael Clayton.

Cinematic Titanic

Last night, I was privileged to attend the premier party for Cinematic Titanic, the newest venture from Mystery Science Theater 3000 alumni Joel Hodgson, Mary Jo Pehl, Frank Conniff, Josh Weinstein, and Trace Beaulieu. Of course, by privileged, I mean I was allowed to pay for a $20 ticket, but, still, how often do you see so many of your heroes live on the same stage? Trust me, twelve year-old Eric’s heart would have exploded and twenty-five year-old Eric’s nearly did.

Cinematic Titanic is basically the same idea as MST3k: four men and one woman (instead of one guy and a pair of puppets) stand or sit on scaffolds in front of a movie screen and make fun of a z-grade picture. In the case of the first, and so far only Cinematic Titanic that movie is The Oozing Skull, a tale of bizarre brain transplantation going horribly wrong (who’d have guessed). I’d already seen the DVD and it is pretty funny. It’s not quite up to the standards of MST classics, but it does show a lot of potential. Anyway, last night’s festivities kicked off with a screening of this first episode. I found myself laughing at jokes I’d already heard, always a good sign, and the crowd was in great spirits.

Then, as the movie reached its opening credits, something strange happened. The sound of riffing dimmed, only to be replaced by the voices of Dr. Clayton Forester and TV’s Frank. “Frank! What is this?” asked Forester.

“I don’t know, doctor,” Frank replied, “some sort of cheap knock-off?” Frank then “pushes the button,” ending the screening and allowing the entire crew to take the stage.

After a few introductions, Trace (formerly Dr. Forester and Crow T. Robot) took up MC chores, introducing each of his friends and their stand-up acts. Mary Jo was first with a cute and funny routine that focused on odd jobs, being an aunt, and, to my delight, the death of Supergirl in Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Frank was up next, noting that he was definitely in front of a sci-fi geek crowd when his question, “Are you ready for Valentine’s Day?” was met with boos. Frank then went onto a somewhat raunchy, but terribly funny set, before ending with a pair of songs: a Christian country western number titled “I Suck up to Jesus Because He Is My Boss” and the theme song to a made up adventure series called “Convoluted Man,” who, incidentally, drives a Convoluto-car, which he couldn’t afford himself, so his uncle co-signed the loan, but now Convoluted Man has to drive his uncle around on errands, like going to the dry cleaners or the grocery store, which he really kind of resents because he should be out there fighting crime… Convoluted Man!

Josh Weinstein then took the stage. Josh, for those of you not in the know, was the voice of Tom Servo for MST3k’s first Comedy Channel season and the KTMA years. He also played Frank’s predecessor, Dr. Larry Earnhardt. Josh’s set was also damn funny and taught me the benefits of an in-chest defibrillator, why I shouldn’t buy a chimp (I still want one anyway), and why he thinks it’s okay to shoot a rogue tiger.

Saving the best for last, Joel himself finally took the stage. Now, I’d seen Joel before on a couple of old HBO specials and – as you might have gathered from MST3k’s invention exchanges – Joel’s a prop comic. To see Joel perform, however, is to make you rethink prop comedy. Maybe there isn’t so much something wrong with prop comedy as there is something wrong with Carrot Top himself. At any rate, Joel’s set really, really killed. It was the perfect cap to an already hilarious night. Joel, with trademark deadpan delivery, presented a whole series of props and inventions, such as a Jack-in-the-Box that opens in the bottom, instead of the top, sending the poor clown on a suicidal fall. At one point during his act, Joel reaches into his pocket and pulls out a straw. “When I was a kid,” he says, blowing the paper off the end, “I used to play with this.” He then produces a leaf blower with a giant plastic sleeve fit over the tube. “But now,” he begins as he fires up the leaf blower, launching the sleeve into the back rows of the club, “I am a man.”

The evening wound down with a little Q&A and a live rendition of the MST theme song, plus the revelation that the entire crew would be back for a live Cinematic Titanic in October. Needless to say, I’ll be there.

That’s all for now. Check back on Monday for some movie reviews and, if you haven’t watched my new video yet, it’s right below. Check it out. It’s awesome.

100 Favorite Movies - Revised for 2008

Hi everybody. I've been gone for awhile, but as part of my attempt to do a lot more writing, I'm going to try to revive this old blog. I learned a few things last time out, the first being not to try to blog every day. So, I'll just blog as I feel like it, although I'm going to try to post at least once a week and the content will remain mostly movie reviews, albeit smaller ones than I had been posting.

One other thing: I never finished my Top 100 list. Part of this was because I was getting exhausted with it and part was the realization that my list was changing as I wrote it and movies that at one time seemed like they had a home on the list didn't any more. Well, to make it up to everyone out there, I've put together this little six minute video, featuring clips of my 100 favorites, revised for 2008. Some are movies I've commented on before and some are not. Regardless, please to enjoy. And let's see if anyone can come up with all 100!

[note: I just posted the video to YouTube last night, so if it isn't working yet, just try back a little later]